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Love versus Lust

aflc_bomattlogoA monthly column by the Billings Ovulation Method Association of Trinidad and Tobago (BOMA-TT).

At “Is Love Forever?” seminars hosted by BOMA-TT, questions are posed to young people on the differences between “love” and “lust”. Unfortunately, many young people (and some adults) confuse “love” with “lust” (strong sexual desire). A tag line we like to use from Jason Evert is that “Love can wait to give, but Lust can’t wait to get.” This definition can help us to differentiate the two and live out what we were created for…which is LOVE! Pope Benedict XVI said: “Only love makes us happy, because we live to love and to be loved.”

Many times we pose the question “Is Love Forever?” to the participants and, sadly, many times we have heard a resounding “No” from some. Many young people are disillusioned about “love” and that is why we host this seminar to clear up the confusion that exists in their minds. Love “is” Forever, because God “is” Love. Love never dies.

We pose questions to the young people that help them express what is in their thoughts. We asked young men aged 14-15 years this question, “Why is using someone, sexually or for any other reason, such a serious thing?” Here are some of their answers:

“You might ruin your relationship, and you might have a disease.”

“Playing with their emotions can bring them down.”

“Cuz it’s bad!”

“Because you would be doing something really wrong and that’s not cool bro.”

“I don’t know.”

“Because it’s not good to use someone for anything.”

“Because you can attract diseases.”

“Because it hurts them.”

“Using someone sexually gives pleasure to the user so they can boast about it and become socially accepted.”

“Because some people kill themselves after.”

Then we asked the question, “What do you think is the cause of violence in our society?” The young men answered:

“I don’t know.”

“Corrupted people in the society like politics, etc.”

“Lack of education, respect and experience.”

“The homes from which they come from.”

“Anger and jealousy.”

“Influence.”

We touch on many topics in the “Is Love Forever?” seminar, one of which is Domestic Violence – a very serious and prevalent problem in our society. We underscore that choices have consequences. For example, violence is a choice and its consequences are hurt, pain, hate, jail, etc. Also, violence should never be part of a culture; it is a crime.

This is what motivates us to teach young people about the beauty and dignity of the human body. In St Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” can be found answers to the many questions young people have about human sexuality. The “Theology of the Body” is really the teaching needed for our time. St Pope John Paul II said: “Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself…If you seek your life selfishly, you will lose it. If you are generous in giving it, you will find it!” This was a man who understood love in a profound way. He spent much of his early years as a priest with young people and young couples and understood that love is not about selfishness. He understood that love is about giving of oneself for the other, not selfishly taking. This teaching about love is desperately needed for our time.

Have you ever realised that the union between husband and wife is most perfectly signified in their sexual embrace? The total gift of their bodies expresses their total gift of themselves. Our claim is that the body has a spousal meaning which must be respected if love is to bear the fruit that we hope for and that God intends. If “Freedom exists for the sake of love”, as St Pope John Paul II said, then “True freedom” lies not in doing anything we want but doing what is best for the other, which is what love is all about.

Contact BOMA-TT at 384-1659 and billingstt@gmail.com, or visit www.billingstt.webs.com

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