Whenever our BOMA-TT teachers discuss Family Planning in marriage preparation courses, we never separate the women from the men. When it comes to Family Planning, the Billings Ovulation Method® is highly effective but requires a couple’s effort in achieving their desired goal. It is really a couple’s Method. The woman cannot use it on her own (unless she wants to use it for monitoring reproductive health only); she needs her husband’s support and knowledge of the Method for it to work. In this month’s column we focus on why men should be interested in the Billings Ovulation Method® of Natural Fertility Regulation. The following is an edited version of an article written by Gerard Migeon on the website www.naturalwomanhood.org
Healthier for spouse
Be wary of the pro-contraceptive propaganda you read about in the news, which always de-emphasises the risks. Read carefully the labels of the contraceptive drugs she’s taking. Google the risks associated with hormonal contraceptives or of foreign objects being inserted in your wife’s body. Read about the lawsuits on products like Yaz® and Jasmin®, Mirena® or Nuvaring® – cancer and blood clots are on the top of the list of long-term health problems associated with them. Some forms of contraceptives have a risk of abortion as well, as they allow conception but then prevent implantation of the fertilised egg.
No pills to buy, no doctor’s visit to change the prescription because of the undesirable side effects of a certain dosage, no IUD to insert or remove. Once you and your wife learn it, it’s yours for life.
Become smarter about women
You learn how their fertility cycle works and how it influences them in their moods. You learn about some of the issues that can cause a woman to be sick or affect her fertility. You can better support her.
Get to really know your spouse
Hormonal contraceptives have this weird effect of putting women in an artificial state, as if they were pregnant all the time. It flattens the normal ebb and flow of hormones and thus of their energies and moods. They’re not themselves. Imagine yourself on steroids all the time. If she’s been on the pill ever since you’ve known her, you may have yet to meet your spouse.
Partners in family planning
It’s not just all up to her anymore – you are a part of the decision to have children or not, and the two of you can have a real dialogue about it. Isn’t it better to work
as a team on these critical decisions? These methods are not your grandma’s rhythm method; they work just as well as hormonal contraceptives to avoid pregnancy. They also help women conceive.
With natural birth control, you have to talk about sex with one another. Sex is no longer completely disconnected from procreation, and you’re in it together, so you talk, and it’s a good thing. And if you can talk about sex, you can probably talk about anything. These regular conversations will break other barriers.
A deeper love relationship
During the times you choose (key word here) not to have sex because both of you want to postpone pregnancy, you have an opportunity to show how much you love her: that it’s not just about “having her tonight.” You can be romantic and loving just for her sake, just like when you were dating. Believe me, she will notice and remember. Beyond sex, we all seek emotional intimacy and are fulfilled by it. With natural birth control you have a time window to create this intimacy every month.
She will feel more respected
Start here: ask her if she ever felt used when you’ve had sex on contraceptives. With natural birth control, by the mere fact you can hold off during the abstinence period, she will feel appreciated. And she will respect you for having enough self-control to do it.
In part because hormonal contraceptives can negatively affect a woman’s libido, but also because you have better communication, you’re closer, and she feels more understood and respected for who she really is, you have an opportunity to connect at a deeper level. Sex is much more than mutual pleasure giving, it’s an act of giving ourselves to each other totally. In simple terms you will discover that sex brings a much deeper sense of “communion,” and she will too.
Decrease in divorce
A study by Dr Robert Lerner, a sociologist from the University of Chicago, shows that couples who practice Natural Family Planning had a divorce rate of 0.2%. More studies need to be done on this topic, but the difference with the general population’s 50% rate is huge. And all the reasons mentioned above can explain it.
Preserve her fertility
An important feature of her body, especially if you are planning to have a baby together at some point. Contraceptives not only stop her fertility short-term, but can really alter it after you stop using them. It takes longer for women coming off the pill to achieve pregnancy.
Preserve your own health
Especially if you’re considering a vasectomy. First, male sterilisation is not without health risk. Because of the high rate of divorce, many men who chose to have a vasectomy get married again and often have regrets.
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