Some gatherings simply mark the calendar; others mark the heart. The Archdiocesan Family Life Commission’s January retreat for married couples most certainly belonged to the latter. It was a day where familiar faces from across family ministries gathered to pause from life’s demands.
Hosted at the St Catherine’s Well, Gran Couva on January 25, the retreat’s theme was Forgiveness and Reconciliation. With reflective discussion and Conversation in the Spirit facilitated by Rose Jackman (Co-founder, Living Water Community) and Tricia Syms (Episcopal Delegate for Family Life), husbands and wives spent the day meditating on Scripture and reflecting honestly on what it means to forgive and embrace their roles within their families.
The retreat was an invitation to look beyond their identities as ministry leaders and bring their private, and true selves into a conversation of love and purpose.
What emerged from this honest gathering was captured in the testimonies participants shared at the end of the session:
“Trust that when I make space for God, that He will show up.”
This was the day’s foundational discovery. Not that God needed to be convinced to arrive, but we, with cluttered hearts, filled schedules and minds filled with the debris of unspoken grievances, have forgotten how to receive. The retreat created a safe space where persons can share and feel a sense of peace knowing that it is never too late for God’s grace.
“Pour it out so He can pour it in.”
Emptying must precede filling. Couples spoke of releasing the tally-keeping, the stored-up arguments rehearsed but never voiced, the protective armour worn so long it has become a part of our identities.
What feels like loss, was discovered to be preparation. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.” The poverty of having nothing left to prove, nothing left to defend, is what truly makes space for the abundance God has planned for your life.
“Understanding that baggage is not always negative but being cognisant that positive baggage inspires us to carry our testimony into the world.”
Perhaps the day’s most surprising grace. Noting that the wounds we carry should not be simply erased but reframed. Pain becomes witness and scars become maps for others still lost in similar terrain.
The adversity faced weren’t wasted years but building blocks for God’s call. Becoming true missionary disciples, credible sources of hope who have been tried and tested by this world but still emerge holding hands boasting of God’s love.
“I’m glad we started with individual reflections and concluded with the idea that two become one.”
Beginning alone with God, each spouse had an opportunity to reconnect with the one who first loved them, before attempting to repair the bridge between them. The sequence honoured a profound truth—we cannot give what we do not possess. Individual healing flourishes into communal unity and not the other way around.
“God want to bless us with more than we already have, but it is up to us to make space.”
The final testimony, echoing the first. The retreat didn’t manufacture blessings; it made the couples aware of the obstacles hindering the blessings God wants to bestow on them.
More trust, more intimacy, more unity make marriage not merely tolerable but transformative. The ‘more’ is always available. It is up to us to make space to receive it.
The retreat concluded as all true retreats must, with a sending forth. Couples returned to their households and schedules, to the same conflicts and constraints, but altered.
They had practised something in that sacred space, looking at each other without distraction, praying together without performance, receiving wine and words as genuine gift.
However, guided by the words “Practice makes permanent”, they were reminded to continue practising what was learnt, forgiving and making space for God. Grace is always available and abundant; we just have to be ready for it to be poured out.
Looking forward, the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission seeks to provide reflective sessions for couples to attend. If you or a loved one may be interested in attending sessions, contact us at 299-1047 or aflc.pc@catholictt.org
Ask us about our Skills for Sacramental Marriage Building or our Joy Filled Marriage Preparation Programme.