Recently, a few parents contacted the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission (AFLC) regarding their 16-year-old daughters’ receipt of Tribe’s goodie bags containing the adult sex toy called a Rose.
This incident highlighted the Church’s responsibility to support parents with guidance and resources for discussing sexuality, including topics such as masturbation, in a healthy and age-appropriate way.
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 2352 “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”
The Church considers masturbation a serious matter and objectively sinful, though the degree of personal responsibility varies based on factors like maturity, knowledge, habit, conditions of anxiety and other psychological or social factors.
Many people react with frustration to this teaching, questioning how private acts of self-pleasure could be problematic. Understanding the concern requires examining the issue more deeply.
Masturbation typically begins during adolescence, often stemming from natural curiosity about physical changes and new sensations. In its initial form, while representing a distortion of God’s intended purpose for sexuality, it may not constitute serious sin and shouldn’t cause panic. However, several concerns merit attention.
Many times a person’s first sexual experience, masturbation can establish harmful patterns that strengthen with repetition. These negative precedents include viewing sex solely as self-gratification, objectifying people as instruments for personal pleasure, using sex as an emotional coping mechanism, and choosing masturbation over genuine intimacy. These patterns can lead to compulsive behaviour, which constitutes both a serious problem and, objectively, a serious sin.
Parents can take several constructive approaches when addressing this issue with their children.
First, maintain composure and warmth. Early instances usually result from curiosity and lack of information rather than moral failure. Approach conversations with affection and understanding.
Second, help children understand their bodily experiences within a spiritual framework. Seek divine guidance to teach compassionately. St John Paul II taught that God reveals Himself through our bodies, making them theological rather than only biological. Sexual feelings represent God’s message that we’re created for self-giving love.
Parents should explain how pursuing selfish pleasure can hinder personal growth, while responding to God’s call involves developing healthy relationships, age-appropriate learning, and better friendship skills. Sexual feelings are not sinful in themselves. They are signs that we are created for love, but they must be integrated with maturity and virtue.
Third, foster three essential strengths in children. Those who struggle with compulsive masturbation often show weaknesses in emotional expression, social skills, and exposure to positive Christian sexual education.
While constant monitoring isn’t possible or healthy, parents can promote Christian sexual education, social development, and emotional maturity.
The AFLC offers workshops such as Children are Gift and resources to help parents navigate these conversations to fulfil their role as primary educators of their children. For more information, contact familylife@catholictt.org or visit aflcrc.org