The Archdiocesan Family Life Commission (AFLC) hosted a virtual retreat on Tuesday, March 10 for persons who are separated and divorced and seeking spiritual healing and clarity on their place within the Catholic Church.

The theme was Have Mercy from Matthew 18:33.

Led by Archbishop Charles Jason Gordon, the online session provided a unique space for 94 participants to process their emotions and navigate the challenging road to forgiveness.

The retreat opened with the rosary, grounding participants in prayer before transitioning into deep discussion of marital breakdown. His Grace moved seamlessly—guided, as many felt, by the Holy Spirit—from one sub-topic to the next, beginning with a Gospel reading that set the tone for the  session. Participants shared personal stories of pain and their struggles to move forward, and the hardships of finding comfort or support in their parish communities. For many, simply finding a space with others in similar situations brought a sense of relief.

A particularly inspiring moment came with the reference of Allen Hunt’s Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody, which recounts the story of a South African woman who forgave the police officer who killed her family and even invited him to dinner.

Through this story, the Archbishop challenged participants to consider what forgiveness might look like in their own circumstances, despite the difficulties. The message resonated deeply— participants came away understanding that forgiveness is not optional, but essential for healing.

Forgiveness remained a central theme throughout the session—self-forgiveness, forgiveness of former spouses, forgiveness within community spaces, and  acceptance of God’s presence in unwanted circumstances.

For some, this meant grappling with the painful reality of forgiving persons who caused immense pain and continue to do so. His Grace offered clarity that reframed this struggle: forgiveness is not a feeling, but a choice. It is the very pathway through which we accept God’s grace and open ourselves to His new plan for our lives.

Archbishop Gordon addressed key pastoral questions with both theological precision and pastoral warmth. Participants noted how accurately he described the emotional weight so many carry—hurt, shame, and a sense of being lost. He took time to explain the distinctions between divorce, marriage as a covenant, and annulment, offering reassurance to those who had carried unnecessary guilt about the breakdown of their marriages.

The Archbishop also corrected widespread misconceptions about participation in Holy Communion, stating that divorced or separated Catholics who have not remarried and who have remained chaste are invited to receive Holy Communion and serve in ministry. For many, this clarification brought a sense of liberation and belonging.

The openness of the Archbishop and the willingness of so many attendees to share their own experiences with honesty and vulnerability created an atmosphere of rare authenticity. Participants described the session as less of a lecture and more of a community walking together.

Overall, the retreat provided a rare space where safety was a priority and where  participants could share without judgement and be reminded that they still belong to the Church.

The wisdom shared continues to resonate, with many still reflecting on the experience. As one participant shared, the session brought up emotions that are still being understood and worked through—and that, in itself, is part of  healing.

The message that carried perhaps the greatest weight was this: God is not finished with you yet. The breakdown of a marriage is not the end of one’s story. God continues to call each person to another step—to renewal, grace, and  hope.

By combining sound doctrine and compassionate accompaniment,  participants were reminded that though mistakes are what make us human, it is our willingness to reflect and invoke positive change that makes us saints.

The AFLC continues to offer resources such as online Divorce Coaching, and Surviving Divorce sessions, which aim to mirror the relief achieved at this retreat. For more information contact the AFLC at 299-1047, email aflc.pc@catholictt.org or visit the AFLC’s website at aflcrc.org