This reflection arose after participating in a Sip and Chat event the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission (AFLC) conducted in collaboration with the Faith Formation (young adults ministry) at St Francis of Assisi Parish in Sangre Grande on Sunday, June 14.
Everyone seated at my table conversed cordially, and I was completely unaware of the background surrounding the two speakers invited to share. It was not until the first speaker was invited to share her story about losing her daughter to suicide that I realised how we often engage with each other and think our challenges are all that matters.
I was struck by the eloquence and bravery with which she spoke as she set aside her pain and trauma, completely emptying herself of them to inspire and minister to others in the community who may have needs or are dealing with difficulties in one way or another.
Her selfless giving in the pain reflected Christ’s self-emptying sacrifice to redeem our sins, when He poured out everything on the cross, highlighting the fact that we often do not recognise the gift many selflessly give in their sharing.
It was a privilege to listen to her testimony as she recalled how many people gossiped, but she highlighted the strength she gained in support from her family. She used her pain in the community to help others dealing with trauma as her expression of love for her neighbours.
It was pain that deepened her caring for people she never met, and her action was no longer about blood relations but the community, who became her family. She went beyond her own pain to care for people she had never met before. We were all recognised as her responsibility, no longer strangers, but brothers and sisters. The second speaker’s story was equally compelling, especially since he lost his father at the age of one and is now raising a daughter as a single father. Being without a father as a role model, faith has guided his journey, which enabled him to pour his life into his daughter’s development.
He came to engage in community life, like school PTA, sports, Church and growing domestic skills to aid her care. He expanded his family by giving and receiving support, which aided both in his and her development.
So, what is this thing the AFLC is focused on that we call ‘family’? They are highlighting the fact that family is rooted in the messiness of people’s lives, knotted together in a shared journey of interdependent support, where I console you in your challenges and you console me in mine.
We are not solitary vessels who act like Cain did with his brother Abel but each other’s keepers. Both speakers certainly proved that when they put themselves out there to help others, we are also called to do the same. If that is not a perfect representation of what family life is then I am at a loss for what it should be.
Our Lord Jesus Christ said that we should be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect, and this perfection is seen in His unbounded love generously poured out for us on the cross. All of us are called to pour out all our lives to help each other. The strong help the weak to balance the scale as members of Christ’s body. Each member doing their part. The right hand needs the left to ensure perfect balance. That is what the AFLC is about: a community of persons supporting each other through difficulties as one family in Christ. — Cliff Daniel